The importance of being the audience

For several years I thought I wanted to be a musician. I love the idea of starting a rock band -- I keep wondering if the world is ready for a group of rocker moms who aren't all 20 and cute as models but are real people. I still like picking up my guitars and making noises, and I have lots of instruments, but the desire to be a rock star is less urgent lately.

Perhaps it was at my second Gomez show that I adopted this nifty little delusion that when I'm in the audience, I am the band's personal rhythm consultant, the one who lets them know when they're on and when they're not (because contrary to popular opinion, I haven't felt they were always on). When they're on, I dance. When they're not, I just can't. It's like that contract with the author or filmmaker when you read a novel or see a fiction film, what they call in literature classes the "willing suspension of disbelief." If the author says something inconsistent or the story is poorly edited or you watch a film about which you walk away muttering, "Those people never would have done that," they've disturbed the illusion and you catch that deflating glimpse of the man behind the curtain. When a group of musicians put all of their soul into it and are paying attention and listening to each other, magic can happen. When they're not, it's a dull thud by comparison.

And thinking of myself this way has opened my eyes to the importance of being the audience. Where would bands and authors and filmmakers be without an audience? It's an underrated role, but one I love.

Last night I filmed a band called GoGo Lab at their CD release party, and there were a lot of unexpected aspects to it. The hardest part for me was not dancing when I was shooting with my handheld camera, to keep the image steady, of course. It was especially hard because part of the band's schtick is this cool back-lit screen behind which people can go-go dance (and did!) -- just the thing for my showoffy side. (I would love to make a music documentary, but filming them would not be my dream job. I just want to dance. And direct.) The best part was how the musicians clearly felt about being filmed -- you could see it really pushed them a little to emote, to connect with each other and with their audience. I probably had a stupid grin on my face half the time I was filming, and I swear it made a difference -- it was one more piece of positive feedback for them. The worst part of filming was the feeling that by filming I was somehow disturbing the natural flow of the event and the audience's attention on the band. But it was a great example of how the energy can flow back and forth between the band and audience.

(And by the way, since seeing Gomez on Tuesday night at the Fox this week, I'm no longer so deluded about being their rhythm consultant -- Olly and Dajon didn't need any help at all.)